I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
