i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
