I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
