best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My vagina just recognized that song.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
