It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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