you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My feet surprised me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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