the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
this boner is exhausting
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
