i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
