Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
