remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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