How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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