that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
