Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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