12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
love makes seman taste better
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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