even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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