I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Someone came in the potted fern
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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