He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
