We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize