she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
