I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
