I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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