So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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