her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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