Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
