Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
