No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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