Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
