oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
