Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
