dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
