my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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