Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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