Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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