I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
this beer tastes like vomit already
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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