return my video game
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
