I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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