yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
