brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
NoShamevember. You game?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
