Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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