I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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