Apparently you make a good broom.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
