I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
