I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
