you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
