Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
