STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
