What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
