i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
