I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
