New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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