The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
