Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
from now on my penis is your penis
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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