I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
