My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
