can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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